Many of us look forward to celebrating Father's Day - watching dad open the gifts of fishing gear, hunting gear, BBQ supplies, maybe office supplies or clothes. Can't have too many ties and socks, right? Even though I lost my father and father-in-law at separate times in 2017, I am now celebrating Father's Day for my oldest son who became a dad for the first time in late 2020. And, of course, I will figure out a gift for my husband...probably something related to his motorcycle...or maybe more socks - I haven't decided yet.
Even though this crime did not happen on Father's Day, I chose it because Father's Day is right around the corner and this is a guy who would never get a vote for Father of the Year award from me. I don't know if I will ever be able to wrap my mind around his horrible actions and his reasoning behind everything.
Who am I talking about? John List, the man who killed five people in his family. Why? I seriously don't understand. I will discuss his crimes and his claims as to why he did what he did, but it still will never make sense to me.
So, who is John List? Let's start from the beginning...
John Emil List was born on September 17, 1925, in Bay City, Michigan, to John Frederick List and Alma Barbara Florence List. He was an only child. It is said that his dad was a strict authoritarian and his mother was very domineering and overprotective. John Emil List grew up as a devout Lutheran and also was a Sunday School teacher.
In 1943, John enlisted in the United States Army. He served as a laboratory technician during World War II. He was discharged from the Army in 1946. John then enrolled at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. He earned a bachelor's degree in business administration and a master's degree in accounting. During this time, he was also commissioned as a second lieutenant through ROTC.
In November 1950, during the height of the Korean War, John List was recalled to active military service. While stationed at Fort Eustis, Virginia, he met Helen Morris Taylor, who was the widow of an infantry officer who was killed in action in Korea. Helen lived nearby with her daughter, Brenda. John List and Helen married on December 1, 1951, in Baltimore, Maryland. The family moved to northern California shortly after that. The Army reassigned John List to the Finance Corps, recognizing his accounting skills.
After completing his second tour in 1952, John List worked for an accounting firm in Detroit, Michigan, and then worked as an audit supervisor at a paper company in Kalamazoo, Michigan. While in Kalamazoo, John and Helen had three children; Patricia, John Jr., and Frederick. John had risen to general supervisor of the paper company by 1959. Helen, an alcoholic, had become increasingly unstable. In 1960, Helen's daughter, Brenda, married and moved out. Shortly after, John moved Helen and the kids to Rochester, New York, and took a job with Xerox. John eventually became director of accounting services. In 1965, John accepted a job with a bank in Jersey City, New Jersey, as a vice president and comptroller. John moved Helen, the kids, and his mother, Alma, to Westfield - his dad passed away in 1944. There, they took residence in Breeze Knoll, a 19-room Victorian mansion at 431 Hillside Avenue.
On November 9, 1971, everything went to hell in a handbasket. John List murdered his entire family; his wife, his mother, and the three children. Why? I will give his explanation in a bit. Let's starting out with explaining the how. John ended up using his own 9mm Steyr 1912 semi-automatic handgun and his father's Colt .22 caliber revolver to murder his family. On the morning of November 9, 1971, while the kids were in school, John killed Helen, 46, by shooting her in the back of the head. He then went up to the third floor where his mother, Alma, 84, stayed and shot her above the left eye. His daughter, Patricia, 16, came home from school and shot her in the back of the head. Then his youngest son, Frederick, 13, came home and was also shot in the back of the head. John then made himself lunch. That's right...he actually made himself lunch with four dead family members in the house! What the actual f*ck?!?
After lunch, John went to his bank and closed both his and Alma's bank accounts. After closing out the bank accounts, John drove to Westfield High School to watch John Jr., 15, play in a soccer game. Seriously? How do you sit and watch your son play in a game, calm as a cucumber, knowing what has already happened to four people in your family and now knowing what you are going to do to your son after his game? I...will...never...understand!
John List went back home with John Jr. after the soccer game and shot him repeatedly. Evidence shows some misfire shots that suggests John Jr. tried to defend himself. Sadly, I don't think he ever stood a chance.
Now...John has five dead bodies in the house. I'm guessing we have a messy crime scene and with all the gun shots, did anyone hear anything? I'm thinking John jumped back into his car and got the hell out of dodge right away...but, no. John List actually took his time placing his wife and kids on sleeping bags and put them in the ballroom. He left Alma's body upstairs, as it turns out she was too heavy to move. John then cleaned the various areas that needed to be cleaned, wrote a five page letter to his pastor, removed his own pictures from all the family photographs in the house, and then tuned the radio to a religious station and left. This tells me this man planned and planned this day for quite some time...which is a scary and horrible thought.
Some may think that John was probably caught right away...people would've noticed something odd with the house, not seeing family members in a while, but that did not happen. First, the family kept to themselves most of the time. Second, John sent notes to the children's school and part-time jobs claiming that the kids would be visiting their ailing maternal grandmother in North Carolina for a few weeks. John also stopped all milk deliveries, mail and newspaper deliveries. This man did all he could think of to cover his tracks...and it worked! John List's crimes were not discovered until December 7, almost a full month later. Things became suspicious to the neighbors as they noticed that all the lights in the mansion were on day and night...yet no activity in or around the house... but slowly started burning out room by room. Neighbors eventually called police. The officers were able to enter the mansion through an unlocked window in the basement and found the bodies.
Normally Westfield had been a very quiet place with very few violent crimes since 1963. This family annihilation caused Westfield to be in the national news, putting New Jersey back on the map again since the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby.
A nationwide manhunt was launched, but John was almost a month ahead of everyone. Police investigated many, many leads but without success. John had destroyed all reliable photos of himself. Eventually the family car was found parked at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City. Police did not find any evidence of John getting on a flight.
During this time, Alma's body was sent back to Frankenmuth, Michigan, and interred at the Saint Lorenz Lutheran Cemetery next to her husband. Helen, Patricia, John Jr., and Frederick were all buried at Fairview Cemetery in Westfield.
While John List was on the lam, Breeze Knoll remained empty until it was destroyed by fire in August 1972. The cause of the fire was suspected to be arson, but it still remains an open case to this day.
Let's time travel forward to May 1989, 18 years after the murders. The crime was part of the show America's Most Wanted. The episode featured an age-progressed clay bust of what John List may look like, created by forensic sculptor Frank Bender. This clay bust ended up being such a close resemblance as a previous neighbor from Denver recognized the description and alerted authorities. On June 1, less than two weeks after the episode was aired, List was arrested in Richmond, Virginia, at an accounting firm.
FBI discovered that John List traveled by train from New Jersey to Michigan and then on to Colorado. In early 1972, he settled in Denver, Colorado, under the name Robert Peter "Bob" Clark and took an accounting job. Turns out John used the name of one of his college classmates, although the real Bob Clark later stated that he had not known John List in college. From 1979 to 1986, John - Bob Clark - worked as a controller at a paper box manufacturer just outside of Denver. He kept up with his Lutheran upbringing and joined a local congregation and even ran a car pool for the shut-in church members. Wow...what a guy! (heavy sarcasm)
At a religious gathering, he met Delores Miller, an Army PX clerk. They married in 1985. Seriously? A second wife? What the hell, John List? Or Bob....or asshat?!? Luckily for Delores, his killing days seemed to be long gone.
In February 1988, John and Delores moved to Midlothian, Virginia. There, John/Bob Clark took on work as an accountant at a small firm - Maddrea, Joyner, Kirkham & Woody. Two cents for their thoughts after the truth came out...
When John was arrested, he continued to use the Bob Clark alias for months, even after being extradited to Union County, New Jersey, in late 1989. When faced with some concrete evidence - a fingerprint matched to John List's military records (obviously John didn't think about that possibility) and evidence found at the crime scene, John List admitted to his true identity on February 16, 1990.
I'm sure many of you have been waiting anxiously as to the reason why these murders were committed. Well, get out your shovels because, in my opinion, it's all a bunch of sh*t that I will never comprehend.
At trial, John List testified that he had reached crisis level over his financial difficulties in 1971 when he ended up unemployed. Now, I will admit that being unemployed can be a very scary situation. Where am I going to get money? How will I pay the bills? How will I feed my kids? I can't even imagine the stress this can cause for people, but I don't believe many people will jump to, "I think I will kill my family and not deal with it". Of course, I'm no medical professional and stress can make people behave in different ways. John List could not face the humiliation he felt over the loss of his job. He continued to get up every morning before the murders, going along with his regular schedule; shower, dress, "go to work". He would spend his days at job interviews or the Westfield train station reading newspapers until it was time to come home. John skimmed money from his mother's bank account for a while in order to pay his mortgage. He encourage his older children to get part-time jobs to help with the family finances.
Another stressor John was dealing with was Helen's alcoholism and her untreated syphilis. Yes, you read that right...untreated syphilis. Helen never told anyone about it, not even her own doctors, until 1969 when a thorough exam revealed the disease. By then, it was very far advanced. It is speculated that Helen wanted to get married in Maryland as that state did not require premarital syphilis testing at that time. John testified that the advanced syphilis and alcoholism "transformed her from an attractive young woman to an unkempt and paranoid recluse." It is said that Helen frequently, often in public, humiliated John, sometimes comparing his "sexual prowess" unfavorably with that of her first husband. Ouch!
A psychiatrist appointed by the Court testified that John List suffered from obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (same - although I have not killed anyone) and that John felt that he had only two solution to his financial situations: go on welfare or kill the family and "send their souls to heaven". You read that correctly - John List actually thought he was saving his family. Are you fricking kidding me??? John said that he could not go on welfare because that would reveal his financial difficulties and he and the family would be ridiculed. John also felt that it would go against his father's teachings regarding how to care for and protect family members. Remember, his father died back in 1944, yet he still seemed to be worried about what his father would think.
On April 12, 1990, the jury came back with guilty on five counts of first degree murder. At John's sentencing, he denied direct responsibility stating, "I feel that because of my mental state at the time, I was unaccountable for what happened. I ask all affected by this for their forgiveness , understanding and prayer." Wow! That takes a lot of balls!!!
The judge was unpersuaded and stated, "John Emil List is without remorse and without honor. After 18 years, five months, and 22 days, it is now time for the voices of Helen, Alma, Patricia, Frederick, and John F. List to rise from the grave." Preach it, Mr. Judge!!!
The judge sentenced John Emil List to five terms of life imprisonment, to be served consecutively. That was the maximum penalty allowed at that time.
John List filed an appeal on the grounds that the judgment had been impaired by post-traumatic stress disorder due to his military service. Again, I also suffer from PTSD for other reasons, but have not killed anyone. Just saying that I don't believe everyone suffering from PTSD or OCD become killers.
John also tried to argue that the five page letter he left behind at the crime scene was his confession to his pastor and should have been considered confidential communication and, therefore, inadmissible. A federal appeals court rejected both arguments.
In 2002, John List did an interview with Connie Chung. In that interview, List stated a tiny bit of remorse: "I wish I had never done what I did. I've regretted my action and prayed for forgiveness ever since." John was asked why he didn't take his own life after the murders and he stated that his belief was suicide would have prevented him from going to heaven, where he had hoped to reunite with his family. I personally have a hard time believing he had any regrets as he lived 18 years free from what he had done...never once tried to face the consequence of his actions until he was caught.
John Emil List ended up dying from complications of pneumonia at age 82 on March 21, 2008, at St. Francis Medical Center in Trenton, New Jersey, while in prison custody. When the New Jersey Star-Ledger reported his death, they called him "The Boogeyman of Westfiled."
Side note: Remember the mention of the house fire in 1972? During that investigation, it is said that the skylight in the ballroom was a Tiffany original, possibly worth $100,000 at that time - enough money to get John List out of debt. Too bad he could not come up with any other options.
Over time, John's story has been inspiration for many movies, episodes in TV shows, and documentaries. In 1972, John List was mentioned as a possible suspect in the D.B. Cooper air piracy case due to the timing of his disappearance and a close match to the hijacker's description. FBI questioned List about this possibility after his arrest, but John denied any involvement in the D.B. Cooper case. No direct evidence implicates John List and the FBI no longer consider him a suspect.
Although sad and tragic, I still don't have much sympathy for John List. He made his decisions, he executed everything to plan, and went on with his life until he was finally caught 18 years later. John does not get a vote for Father of the Year from me. He spent how many Father's Day without his kids because of his messed up actions. I personally hope every year, Father's Day was a very lonely day for John.
The overall story is horrible and terribly sad for many reasons, but one reason that I would like to point out is in the sense that mental health back then was not something to talk about or try to treat. There was a big stigma about admitting you had a problem. And who would admit they were an alcoholic? Or admit that you were married to one? I just wonder if things were different in the sense of taking care of your mental health and addictions were more acceptable, would John List have been able to figure out the financial problems in a better way; would Helen, Alma, Patricia, John Jr., and Frederick have lived a longer life? That is something we will never know, but I will always wonder how different things could have been for this family if asking for help was a more acceptable thing back in the day.
--Audre.
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Letter to Pastor Rehwinkle:
Dear Pastor Rehwinkel:
I am sorry to add this additional burden to your work. I know that what has been done is wrong from all that I have been taught and that any reasons that I might give will not make it right. But you are the one person that I know that while not condoning this will at least possibly understand why I felt that I had to do this. 1. I wasn’t earning anywhere near enough to support us. Everything I tried seemed to fall to pieces. True, we could have gone bankrupt and maybe gone on welfare. 2. But that brings me to my next point. Knowing the type of location that one would have to live in, plus the environment for the children, plus the effect on them knowing they were on welfare was just more than I thought they could and should endure. I know they were willing to cut back, but this involved a lot more than that. 3. With Pat being so determined to get into acting I was also fearful as to what that might do to her continuing to be Christian. I’m sure it wouldn’t have helped. 4. Also, with Helen not going to church I knew that this would harm the children eventually in their attendance. I had continued to hope that she would begin to come to church soon. But when I mentioned to her that Mr. Jutze wanted to pay her an elder’s call, she just blew up and said she wanted her name taken off the church rolls. Again this could only have an adverse result for the children’s continued attendance.
So that is the sum of it. If any one of these had been the condition, we might have pulled through but this was just too much. At least I’m certain that all have gone to heaven now. If things had gone on who knows if this would be the case.
Of course, Mother got involved because doing what I did to my family would have been a tremendous shock to her at this age. Therefore, knowing that she is also a Christian I felt it best that she be relieved of the troubles of this world that would have hit her.
After it was all over I said some prayers for them all – from the hymn book. That was the least that I could do. Now for the final arrangements: Helen and the children have all agreed that they would prefer to be cremated. Please see to it that the costs are kept low. For Mother, she has a plot at the Frankenmuth Church cemetery. Please contact Mr. Herman Schellkas, Route 4, Vassar, Mich. 41768.
He’s married to a niece of Mother’s and knows what arrangements are to be made. (She always wanted Rev. Herman Zehnder of Bay City to preach the sermon. But he’s not well.) Also I’m leaving some letters in your care. Please send them on and add whatever comments you think appropriate. The relationships are as follows: Mrs. Lydia Meyer – Mother’s sister. Mrs. Eva Meyer – Helen’s mother. Jean Syfert – Helen’s sister.
Also I don’t know what will happen to the books and personal things. But to the extent possible I’d like for them to be distributed as you see fit. Some books might go to the school or church library.
Originally I had planned this for Nov. 1 – All Saints’ Day. But travel arrangements were delayed. I thought it would be an appropriate day for them to get to heaven.
As for me please let me be dropped from the congregation rolls. I leave myself in the hand of God’s Justice and Mercy. I don’t doubt that He is able to help us, but apparently He saw fit not to answer my prayers the way that I hoped they would be answered. This makes me think that perhaps it was for the best as far as the children’s souls are concerned. I know that many will only look at the additional years that they could have lived, but if finally they were no longer Christians what would be gained.
Also I’m sure many will say, ”How could anyone do such a horrible thing?” – My only answer is it isn’t easy and was only done after much thought.
Pastor, Mrs. Morris may possibly be reached at 802 Pleasant Hill Drive. Elkin – home of her sister. One other thing. It may seem cowardly to have always shot from behind, but I didn’t want any of them to know even at the last second that I had to do this to them.
John got hurt more because he seemed to struggle longer. The rest were immediately out of pain. John didn’t consciously feel anything either.
Please remember me in your prayers. I will need them whether or not the government does its duty as it sees it. I’m only concerned with making my peace with God and of this I am assured because of Christ dying even for me.
P.S. Mother is in the hallway in the attic – 3d floor. She was too heavy to move.
John
Sources:
Wikipedia.com
Murderpedia.com
Criminalminds.fandom
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